he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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