Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
A bitchslap is in order.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
