Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize