well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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