Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
