So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
