He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
