Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
