Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
