How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize