just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
