He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
