Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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