i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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