this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You are a genius and a whore.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize