Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Can you bring me the toilet please
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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