I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
