real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
