I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
