He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
