What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
