I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize