she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
