i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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