i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She bit a glass in half.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
