I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you inspire me to be a worse person
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
