her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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