i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
