New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
