My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize