saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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