I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
