It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
