nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
