and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
