Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
