anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
