Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
well you can't waste a boner
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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