I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
