he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
