My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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