I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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