:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
