I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
zippers are such a cool invention
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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