What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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