glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize