So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
