Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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