Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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