Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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