If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
