I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
