You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Your penis caused this!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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