we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
