so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
